Rebecca Elia's Blog

All about Feminine Health, Healing, and Greece

Thursday, February 4, 2010

A Rude Awakening, Appreciated

I woke up this morning to jarring, banging, pounding—as if someone was trying to demolish the building. It upset me, but only for a few seconds, because, courtesy of difficult neighbors, this is how I had been awakened for months on end. A few minutes later as my mind cleared, I realized the noise was different than usual. Rather than door slams, crashing pots and pans, and shouting, this time, someone was actually building something. Was that a drill? And, yes, there was a hammer. The whole building shook, but that was nothing new.

There was another big difference. The neighbors weren’t here! This was perhaps the third time in months that they were gone. Why? Because, this time, someone else was making noise loud enough to disturb them. I think it was coming from the stairwell, but, by now, this noise had become a part of me, stuck somewhere in the outer layer of my emotional body.

When this began several months ago, I thought perhaps I was being warned of an upcoming earthquake; after all, California is due. I also realized then that this was a metaphor for my life, a life that had become shaky at best, one whose foundation was threatened. Not a comfortable seat, even though I had been the first to rush forward and claim it. A bit later, I mused, perhaps this is what happens when you ask for inner peace? The divine chef of the universe serves you up the noisiest most obnoxious din she can muster. This seemed even more likely since the message was coupled with the external illusion that these were nice people who weren't capable of screaming obscenities or producing a jarring, shaking, pounding clamor every five to ten seconds for hours on end. Surely, they were only cooperating to further my own life-education.

By now, you may be wondering why I’m still living here. As I write this, I can’t help but wonder the same.

But something happened this morning when I realized that this noise was created by actual construction, rather than disturbance and chaos. I remembered that, just two days ago, a ten-year-old leak in the bathroom sink had been fixed. And the plumber had been good enough to repair the tub faucet as well, just in case. One of my Twitter friends reminded me that this represented energy that had been dripping out of me for, well, ten years. I knew exactly what kind of energy it was. Water, our feminine energy, is also our life force. Appearing through our emotions, it is the energy that is often suppressed, that goes unnoticed. This bathroom leak, in fact, had been slow, barely noticeable, until I placed a cup beneath the faucet. I had been surprised by how significant this drip-drip was. It added up at the end of the day...week...month...years. This vital force, the emotional expression of the passions that fuel my life, had been leaking out for as long as I could remember.

This is the same force that is apparent when our emotions come out in a flood. Once, one of my colleagues tried to warn a laboring patient of the dangers of postpartum hemorrhage. Searching to find an appropriate illustration and fueled by a sense of urgency, she walked over to the sink faucet, turned it on full blast (water droplets dancing and exploding into the room), and said, “See this? This is how quickly you can bleed out.”

I realized that I had lost the entire content of my suppressed life force over and over again, slowly but steadily…drip-drip-drip-drip

Yes, this day was different. The drip had been fixed, and I was feeling stronger, already thankful for the extra energy. And this time the very structure that had been shaking beneath my feet was being repaired. And it was in the stairwell.

Now I have a functional sturdy exit.


What aspects of your life are leaking your life force? Do you recognize this only when it comes rushing out? Are you on steady ground? What foundation or structures in your life need repairing or reinforcement? Have you been heeding the signs?


  1. Soaking up your post here this morning Rebecca. A friend of mine last week, during a very difficult week, comforted me and reminded me to 'own my divinity'.....then, as if seeing a reflection of the beautiful tapestry within me, I reclaimed it and felt stronger just with comfort and affirmation it was and is really there and alive.....and yes, through the painful event of my week I could still be strong enough to get through it...........and i did..........then recalling the 'incident' i went through to another girlfriend on monday, i felt so worn out just telling her, and she told me it was because i was using the same energy force that had been inflicted with 'pain' and i had to let it my beautiful energy for something else.......these last two weeks i have been reflecting on all the forms of female aggression........our culture here in the states loves to see women leaking alllllll forms of this........and it only hurts and deprives us of our empowering feminine abilities that enable women to 'help each other' instead of being raised to compete with each other..............Apollo killed Gaia.......and this feminine 'pythos' has been misunderstood for many years............thank you for your beautiful, funny and inspiring post! Kristin Efthimiou

  2. Thank you for sharing your lovely insight with us, Kristin. Yes, so much of our vital energy gets used up, redirected, ignored, buried. It's amazing how this still happens without our awareness. Good news, though - once you recognize this, as you have, there's no going back. Watch out world!

    Clarification for our readers: Apollo literally killed Gaia's child, Pythos, not Gaia, herself - although with the way things are presently, it can certainly feel this way. Certainly, one can observe the imbalance of masculine and feminine through Apollo (representing the masculine) and the shift of the feminine from Demeter and Artemis to Athena. (Stay tuned for more in my forthcoming book!)

  3. WOW! First time in a long time that I've been SO struck by wisdom that I'm word-less (yes, THIS is my gal am I).Thank you for this, I am reading post after post - ohmyword!!

  4. Thank you Karen! I'm so glad that you're enjoying my blog.
    Please tell others, who you think may be interested, about it.