Would You Intervene to Stop a Bully?

I was walking back from the farmer’s market today, trying not to think about a different farmer’s market, one that I had walked by a few days ago, 6700 miles away in Greece, when my daydream was interrupted by a disturbance from the middle of the street. Now this certainly got my attention, because, unlike Greece, it is rare to hear anyone shouting in my neighborhood.

There was a young man, probably in his upper 20’s, taunting and harassing an elderly man in the middle of the street. Traffic was stopped in both directions. Observing this outburst from the sidewalk was a group of half a dozen young men, roughly the same age as the bully. None of them came forward, but continued to watch. The bully became more inflated, was shouting something at the elderly man and dancing around him like a boxer trying to find his opponent’s weak spot. I started racing down the street with my cell phone in hand (Greek phone numbers dancing in my head), while trying to remember how to dial the police in the United States. I was a quarter of a block away when the situation escalated and the older man attempted to take a swing at the young bully. Only then did the half dozen male observers step in, en block. I could overhear them quietly telling the bully to, “Just get in the car and go.”

I, the only woman amongst the (sorry guys, weak) testosterone pack, called out, “Has anyone called the police yet?” One of the young men looked at me, apathetically, and said, “The police can’t stop a bully.” I replied, “He will continue to do this to others. If observers file reports against him, then the police can do something!”

I was appalled by his response. It was as if some unspoken code kept them from breaking up the confrontation. Didn’t any of them have elderly parents or grandparents? Didn’t any feel the least bit responsible for stopping such an incident? Certainly they seemed oblivious to the fact that people who harass, people who bully, are only one step away from violent behavior. Quite frequently, emotional abuse leads to physical abuse, and even if it does not, I know, too well, its equally damaging effects.

Another young man turned to me and quietly said, as if he didn’t want the other guys to hear, “Yes. The incident has been called in.” So, I proceeded up the street and was stopped by a female shopkeeper who asked me what had happened. I explained what I knew. I shared that I did not know what had precipitated the conflict, but that I was quite disturbed by the men’s lack of response. Her opinion was, “No one wants to get involved.” She also said that she had seen the woman in the car behind make a call on her cell phone.

What has happened to us that we are unwilling to step in? That we are so willing to claim no responsibility? What is this silent male code not to interfere, that trivializes and therefore accepts bullying, labeling the abuser as “just a bully?” What allowed these men to equate a call to the police as “weak” or labeling them as “tattletales?”

People, get the word out: bullying is abusive. Emotional abuse is as damaging as physical abuse, even when one does not lead to the other. We have become socially irresponsible to our elderly and to one another. The bully certainly did not exhibit any admirable masculine traits, but the group of male observers fell short, as well.

It’s a sad day when it takes a fifty-year old physically weak woman to step in.

This post may, at first, not seem relevant to the theme of feminine healing, so let me point out just two significant links. First, the acceptance of abuse and violence to others or to ourselves or, its opposite, too easily accepting the position of victim and the entitlement that goes with this, is a common state in our society and one that needs to change in order for all of us to heal.
Secondly, taking responsibility for ourselves and others, assigning worth to interdependence equal to the status of independence is another necessary change towards balance and healing, not only in our own society, but in our global world.

What do you think? In what ways have you been a bully to yourself or to others? When have you taken on the victim role? When have you left it behind? To what do you feel “entitled?” When have you valued interdependence as highly as independence? When have you stepped in, taken a stand, begun your path toward healing?

You Can Do It Too!

I was just treated to a Saturday at the Louise Hay “I Can Do It” conference in San Diego this last weekend. It was packed full of goodies…lots of information, fun and healing. I wanted to share with you just a couple of the many gems.

For those of you who would like to access your intuition to obtain useful information regarding your health and life decisions, and for those of you who are already able to gain access but don’t know how to use this information, I strongly recommend Dr. Mona Lisa Schulz’s latest book, The Intuitive Advisor. If you don’t know anything about Mona Lisa, you are in for a treat. She wears several different very colorful hats simultaneously. Not only is she one of the most brilliant people that I have ever met, both hemispheres of her brain are doing double duty. First, she is a double doctor. She has a medical degree and has trained as a Psychiatrist. She also has a Ph.D. in Psychoneuroimmunology. Oh, and did I mention that she is also a medical intuitive? This means that with your name and age only, she is able to “read” your emotional and physical health and link the two. Being a research scientist, she has been on a mission to understand intuition both scientifically and experientially. In The Intuitive Advisor, she takes an extremely complex subject and makes it straight-forward, easily understandable and extremely useful. Whether you want to learn the basics about intuition or wish to access this wonderful feminine gift, this book is a great place to start. Her website is: http://www.drmonalisa.com/ . Happy healing!

Whatever you may believe about past lives, Dr. Brian Weiss’ regression meditations are fantastic tools to access information about past experiences, beliefs and the archetypal world. Dr. Weiss also trained as a Psychiatrist and worked extensively as a research scientist. While using hypnotherapy techniques that he had learned during his training, one of his patients regressed all the way back into a previous life, thus changing the direction of his life. He has written several books and has several Regression Meditation CDs available. I would recommend starting with Spiritual Progress Through Regression. His website is: http://www.brianweiss.com/ . Happy travels!

Welcome

Hello everyone. Welcome to my Blog.

I am very excited to have this up and running. It's wonderful to combine my love of Greece with the healing power of the feminine. I am taking a break from direct patient care, as a Holistic Gynecologist, to devote my time to writing and speaking.

Check out my website: www.rebeccaelia.com. You will find resources for woman who are interested in obtaining more health and balance in their lives by reclaiming the feminine qualities within themselves.

I am inviting women who have experienced the healing power of the Feminine to share their stories. If you have experienced more health or balance through reclaiming any of your feminine qualities, such as creativity, nurturing, intuition, feeling and interdependence, I invite you to share with us.

If you have gained feminine wisdom through life's transitions, such as pregnancy, birth, menopause or the death of a loved one, then please consider sharing your wisdom with us. If you have healing stories about expressing your feminine creativity and wisdom in the later years of your life, we would love to hear from you. We need and value your wise-woman wisdom!
Please submit stories to: rebecca@rebeccaelia.com. Stories will be posted on my website under the heading of Feminine Revelations.

Because Greece has been my feminine healer I will be devoting part of the site to this Goddess Land. Photography is one of my creative outlets--so I hope that my pictures will help you reconnect with the Feminine, as well.

Thank you!
Rebecca